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SAHM vs Working Mom: Let's Get on the Same Team

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Over the past few weeks my FB feed has been filled with status updates from SAHM's complaining because a working mom has commented on how nice it would be if they could stay at home & "do nothing all day."  As a SAHM, I take much offense to that statement, whether it's coming from a working mom, working dad, or from anyone in general.  I've also heard from working moms that say they feel like SAHM judge them for going to work & leaving their children in day care.  We are all moms & it's a hard job, whether you do it full time or not.  I just don't understand why we can't all get on the same team?

I always say that I've been blessed by the fact, that our family is financially stable enough for me to be able to stay at home with my kids.  Before my husband & I even started thinking about having kids, he let me know that once we had children, he wanted me to quit working and stay at home.  I was fine with this, because it was the same way I was raised.  When my daughter arrived, I was overjoyed with the thought that I get to be with her 24/7, but I had no clue how hard of a job it was to be a SAHM.  No, I don't stay in my pjs all day, eat bon bons, & watch reality tv.  I take my job as a SAHM seriously.  God has put me in charge of these two precious babies & has given me the job to mold their hearts & minds.   My day begins around 6 & doesn't end until I lay down at night & some nights it doesn't end--there may be a child to comfort after a bad dream, a paci to be put back in, throw up to clean up, or a dirty diaper to change. Our day is filled with smiles, tears, disciplining, cooking, cleaning, laundry, spilt milk, sticky fingers, glitter on the floor, playing pretend, coloring, reading books. We go on field trips to the park, museum, zoo, aquarium.  I plan activities to do with my children. I wear spit up most days.  Most of my meals consist of goldfish & whatever else is left over on my child's plate.  I say "no" more times than I can count.  I repeat myself at least 3x with each set of instructions.  Each day has it's own challenges, triumphs & failures--and I'm so thankful for God's grace in this journey. But at the end of each day I'm exhausted---I physically & mentally give 110% to my children.  Please don't EVER make the remark that all SAHM's do is "do nothing all day."

I know not everyone is able to stay at home with their kids, & some don't want to. Some women love their jobs & can't imagine staying at home all day--and this doesn't mean they love their children any less. Kudos to those who manage to work all day outside the home & then come home & give their kids their best.  As a former teacher, I can't imagine working all day with kids & coming home & giving my best to my own children.

I think whatever you chose to do once you are a mom is your choice.  Whatever works best for your family & your children--that's all that matters. Whether you work or stay at home, being a mom is hard work and we should all be on the same team.  We should all be encouraging one another.  We should be in each other's corner & have each other's back.  Let's stop making these snide comments, let's get on the same team & support one another.


  1. Love this!! Go team mom!

  2. Amen! These "mommy wars" are so annoying! I work full-time outside the home, but not because I want to. My son loves his daycare, but I dream of the day I can be a SAHM, and I KNOW it will be harder than the job I do outside of the home...but totally worth it! :)

  3. Bless you for working full time! I'm so glad someone else agrees that these wars are annoying & awful!

  4. Awesome post!! I love it when people ask what I do all day! Ha! I swear I'm more tired at the end of the day now than when I was teaching middle schoolers!

  5. I am hapy to say I have always worked full time (though I would gladly have stayed home if I could have) and I'm a single mom. Well, techincally for the last year I have my boyfriend to help out. But I love the fact that I can make it all happen! Work, make a great salary, workout every day, cook a healthy meal 5 nights per week, keep a spotless house and enjoy free time with my Honey. I take and enjoy all my daughters activities, craft, read and just be lazy. It is SO possible to do it all - if you set your mind to it! I don't like to hear either side complain. Everyone can make it all happen!


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